Hi, thanks for stopping by! I’m Jeanne, intrepid daydreamer, sharing my thoughts and experiences about this Happy Life we all seek. Join the discussion, challenge my thoughts, share your wisdom!
This is about recurring dreams . . .
One in particular, especially, that I’ll never forget. It didn’t recur every single night back then, but it visited me too often to not be significant. In the dream I am a wife and mother of two toddlers, working at our family business. I am a very busy person – like all wives and mothers.
Every morning I’m up early because the children are up and need my attention; breakfast to be prepared for everyone; dress myself and the babies, take them to daycare, go to work, deal with all the accounting, pick up children from daycare, prepare dinner, spend quality time with the family, bathe and put children to bed, give husband some attention, find time to do grocery shopping and laundry and housecleaning, bathe myself and put myself to bed as I make a mental list of things that need to be done tomorrow. And tomorrow. And tomorrow.
Do. Go. Drive. Pick up. Drop off. Count. Cook. Clean. Wash. Shop. Squeeze forty-eight hours into twenty-four. I ask, what have I given myself? What do I have to give my family? I run on the fumes of exhaustion, with no time to refuel.
Flashback time: I’d entered the convent right after high school, hell-bent on serving my God and spreading the Good News to third world countries. My life in the convent was quiet. It was introspective. It was an ongoing meditation. Most of every day was spent in total silence. Alone with my thoughts. Alone with God. Long story short, seven years was enough for me. I left the life of being one of God’s virgins and returned to the streets where sinners lived. I re-joined the mass of humanity.
Back to the recurring dream: In my dream I’m saying goodbye to my husband and two small children and re-entering the convent. I’m both heartbroken about leaving, and elated to be returning to blissful silence and meditation. But I’m so torn, that I leave the convent again and return to my family. But this tears me up too, so I return to the convent. This goes on and on, my taking turns living two lives.
Apparently I want to have my cake and eat it, too. I want to marry the two lifestyles. I want my family, they are my life. I want my solitude, it is my life. Must it be one or the other? Can I find no way to blend the two? Is it impossible? Is it? Is it, really?
Flash Forward Time: It’s not impossible. I learned to steal time for the quiet, the meditation, the solitude, and the surrender to Life. I stole from my sleep hours; going to bed later, or waking up earlier. I stole from my lunch breaks. I’d take the long way home when driving alone. I no longer had the luxury of wishing I could be in a quiet spiritual place; I realized I wouldn’t survive without it.
And you know what? I learned that quiet time doesn’t have to be hours and hours on end. It can be in bits and pieces, in short spurts. Standing in line at the grocery. Waiting in a doctor’s office. Taking a walk during lunch. In short moments like these, I learned to take a few deep breaths, ground myself, dismiss any inner turmoil, and simply Be Still. No more recurring dream.
My two lives took different roads, but eventually met, fell in love, and have remained united ever since. Happily, ever after. And once again, just as I like it, a fairy-tale ending!
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Tags: balance, choices, crisis, life lessons, recurring dream, spirituality, struggle
Categories: Personal Growth
Oh Jeanne, what you’ve written about in this post is exactly what I am experiencing right now. I cannot live without my quite time but I learned that I can have it without sacrificing time from other things I have to do. Thank you, I so enjoyed reading this!
Lana, it’s so amazing, and somehow comforting, when we learn that others have shared our experience! Yet another connection revealed, in the Web of Life. Our quiet time is a taste of paradise, no? I’m so glad you enjoyed this post
I really enjoyed this, too. It’s so nice when you can figure out what a dream means, especially a recurring one.
Dot´s last blog ..Comment on It’s Over!!! by Momisodes
Hi, Dot! Figuring it out is really good, especially when the recurring dreams creep me out
Hi Jeanne, boy I can relate to this SO much! I think most women can, especially with young children. Do, do, do, go, list, do, go, go, konk out in bed and do it all over again.
I love my quiet time so much. It’s just as you say, “I no longer had the luxury of wishing I could be in a quiet spiritual place; I realized I wouldn’t survive without it.” I’ve learnt that lesson too. If I don’t get time to just be with myself, it all goes a bit pear shaped
Thanks Jeanne. I really loved reading this. Thank you for sharing your dream.
Glad you enjoyed it — and Jacqui, I love your description — “it all goes a bit pear shaped!” What an apt description of imbalance! I really like that
Wow, Jeanne! I feel like I could’ve written this post myself. Well, not the recurring dream part. And not the convent part either (I did have a lot of teachers who were nuns — a few of whom routinely asked the girls if any of us were interested in joining the convent). But definitely the part about stealing time. As much as I love being a mother and wife and as much as I love my work, I also really need quiet time. Not a lot. I’ve had to learn to “steal” it while I’m driving, walking to get from one place to another, between phone calls, etc. Isn’t it amazing how we find a way to carve out quiet time when we really need it? Even a meditative minute can do wonders for frayed nerves/spirit. Thanks for an awesome post!
Belinda, amen to carving out quiet time! Those meditative minutes are like drinking from the Source, giving us all we need to keep on keepin’ on. They kind of put us back together again so we can stay in sync with life. Glad you enjoyed the thought — and gee, how come I knew you’d relate to it?
I wonder if my husband, the monk, has ever had these sorts of dreams?? It looks like you’ve found the perfect balance. Isn’t it great when that happens! There’s a little sunshine waiting over for you on my blog (a gift). Love all you do and Happy Valentine’s Day to you, Kathy
Katherine Jenkins´s last blog ..365 Lessons-Lesson 45: Spread the Love Around
Hi, wife of former monk! Well, I can’t say the balance is perfect, but any imbalance is quickly recognized, LOL! Back atcha with the love and V-day wish! Now I gotta go get my sunshine, thanks!
Oh Jeanne! Thanks so much for visiting my blog – I think it was fate that you did! This post that you have written about your dream sounds like the quandry (a word?) I am facing now – part of me is yearning for this spiritual existence, and the other half is flat out exhausted multitasking like a trooper with little time for OMMMMS. Like your dream – I need the two lives to meet!!! Wow. so glad to have made your acquaintaince and can’t wait to get to know more about you!
Sharni´s last blog ..Ten Unique Things
Sharni! So glad to have you visit — and tickled that you’ll be back, new friend! You’ve got the upper hand already, though — just by knowing there IS a spiritual existence to enjoy and refuel!
Amd. thanks for blogrolling me, I reckon we’ll be regulars, eh?
ps _ am adding you to my blogroll so I can keep up with you. cheers!
Sharni´s last blog ..Ten Unique Things
This is very inspiring. Thank-you for sharing your dream and story of how you can have it all. We simply need to understand that sometimes we get in bits of time rather than chunks of time.
Indeed, Mark — and now that I’m no longer pressured by the joys of small children, I AM enjoying a few good chunks now and again!
Hi Jeanne – I loved this, on so many levels. The image of these two lives coming together is powerful indeed. And it sounds like the dream was prophetic for you; you discovered a way out of feeling torn, pulled in two different directions. I can hear the struggle of that. The other reason I like this so much is because I have been studying dreams for the past six months, and learning all about translating archetypal dream images rather that interpreting them verbatim. It is fascinating stuff. And you have some incredible images here. Thanks for sharing them. And also, thanks so much for stopping by my blog and leaving your wonderful comment about football!
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Meaning Mondays: The Clouds Edition
Patty, I’m intrigued by your study of archetypal dream images! I don’t suppose you’ll do a series of posts on the subject? I think you’d have a bunch of willing students!
Oh, and yes — GEAUX, SAINTS!
Hi Jeanne – I loved that piece – so simple, so true to so many women and men out there – busy is not the obstacle we see it as – we have everything we need to find solitude and meditation – a matter of saying yes rather than no…
i am inspired by your trekking around in an RV…are you still doing this? i love to camp and one day imagine myself retired, living in a trailer…what more do you need (other than a garden and your peeps?)
I connected to you from Katherine at Lessonsfromthemonk…you and i were on that shiny list of blogs:) – I have decided to follow you and put you on my blog roll – I also have given you the “Hanging out the Wash” award – see my blog for post – http://www.tinkerbellys.blogpost.com –
- Marcella
Marcella, how cool to have you visit! My trekking around = a special six month trip with my oldest daughter, exploring the southwest. We’re at the tail end of the trip, will be heading back to my gardening gig in Maryland in mid-March.
Living fulltime in a travel trailer isn’t for everyone, but for those of us loving a minimalist lifestyle, it’s delightful! Owning very little, yet having the whole world, kind of!
OK, I’m off to visit your site, I want to know more
What else can I say but “You got it goin’ on, Girl!” Your two paths converged and now you live in bliss. And you’ve got the whole of a long life left to live,grow,write,love,and plant gorgeous gardens that could win prizes on this or any planet.
Yee-Hah, Jannie (or how does a cowboy spell that?) — if a person can drown in good fortune, all I can say is “glug-glug” and “please, don’t save me!”
I think bliss comes from recognizing blessings, of which YOU are a most grand and awesome one